Friday, April 19, 2013

Boston 4.15.2013

I've tried to let this week sink in so I could say something poignant, but I haven't come up with anything poignant. As I write, suspect number two is hiding in a boat. Well, not really hiding. I don't know where the guy thinks he's going.

Let me start on Monday. Since I've taken up running I have also developed an interest in the sport of running and watching marathons. This is to my brother's dismay as he cannot stand a sport where people just run for two hours. I like it. There's something very tactical about it that I like. It's not enough to be fast because you see a lot of people jump to the lead of a marathon, then they drop off. You need cunning to win a marathon. I've been watching all the marathons offered by DirecTV and even woke up before I had to be at work to watch the London Olympic marathons. Keep in mind I usually have to be at work at 6 or 7. I had Monday off, though, so I could watch Boston in my pajamas while I ate Chick Fil A (That's how you know I'm a real athlete. I'm sure had Kara Goucher not been in the race, it's what she would have done.).  So, I watched the elites, the tactics and then I went on with my day: writing, grocery store, catching up on TV. I had just finished watching Call the Midwife when I heard the news about Boston.

What is the Boston Marathon to me? I'll be honest: when I see the Boston qualifying times for my age group, I usually burst out laughing. It works out to about an 8:03 mile. I'm sorry, I would be happy to be as fast as Jerry in Spirit of the Marathon. Ten minute miles you're talking crazy! EIGHT?! EIGHT FREAKING MINUTES?! It's just not happening. My mom has a friend that is a repeat Boston runner, I've tried suggesting that she run Princess with me. My basic plan is that she would run ahead and save my spot in line for pictures until I caught up, then she could go to the next photo op. She's done the JFK 50 Miler, it wouldn't even be hard. I personally think this could work and my contribution to the team could be finding the most interesting cupcakes in Disney World and selecting our costumes. As you can see my prioritization of running related tasks is just one of the reasons I have not yet qualified for Boston.

So, suppose in some reality I did qualify for Boston and run it and finish and then two bombs went off. Or suppose I got stopped five miles from the finish as some people did. Suppose you just ran Boston and lost a limb. It's unimaginable and those guys would have to hope that they got caught by the police and not me. Seriously, you want to deter this, leave this guy alone with the marathoners. Something about what these guys did offends me, really offends me in the most visceral way because they changed the meaning of this race, perhaps all races and I don't even think they had a reason. Jihad isn't a reason. There are no reasons. There are some lame excuses that correspond directly to you being a jackass who blew up an eight year old. I'm convinced there's a special place in Hell for these guys and people like them. I'm not being poignant, but those guys aren't serving a case, either.

Let's have Stephen Colbert do the talking.

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