Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Running from Daleks

So, I just changed the blog name. Nobody's reading this, but let me outline why anyway.

First, I know some of you non-nerds will be wondering: what is a Dalek?

The Daleks are the Doctor's mortal enemy. He keeps thinking he killed them all, but some of them always manage to show up. In fact, for Handy's sin of killing all the Daleks, he had to go with Rose Tyler. Yeah, the Doctor doesn't play. As for you Rose-Ten shippers, if a guy sends you to a parallel universe with the clone that grew out of his hand that sat in a jar for two years, he's just not that into you. A Dalek is a cyborg, it has a metal shell with a one-eyed squid on the inside. It says things like "EXTERMINATE!" and "ELEVATE!" and generally words with an "ate" suffix.

The important thing is that the Daleks don't take crap from anyone. They have no concept of crap. Anyway, I'm taking the name from one of my favorite cross days workouts that I invented. You will need a Nike Plus Machine and an iPod with Doctor Who on it. I have both. Doctor Who is all about the running and sometimes you run from Daleks or pig man or Rose Tyler, whatever the monster of the week is. Anyway, you watch the episode while you're on the elliptical or whatever and you speed up first during the theme song which is really a long time. It's a long song.

So, now your heart rate is up and you can slow down while the Doctor and his companion arrive at whatever new story there is in that episode:
That was Donna. She's awesome. Anyway, they're going to walk around a while and then discover something strange happening at wherever they've arrived. When this happens, this will happen:
At this point, the Doctor will rescue whatever companion got trapped wherever and you can take a sip of your Nuun or Gatorade or whatever. You have to try Nuun. The lemon-lime tastes like Sprite. When the Doctor and his companion have to go stop whatever it is that's going to end all life as we know it, it will look like this:
You will have to run through all of that and if you're extra ambitious you can run through the world-saving part. And sometimes you will have to run from Daleks.

If you are watching one with Rose, she will do something stupid about now. Then you do your cool down while something sad happens:
You probably had to see that one from the start. Anyway, there's the name change and probably the only workout I will ever give. Let me know what you think or if you're reading!